I only cried a little

Ryan started kindergarten yesterday. I am having a hard time believing that my baby is in school. What happened to the years? And now that all the boys are in school, what am i going to do with myself? I have had a list going in my head and i thought i was excited for this day, yet i find myself wishing i still had some time with the boys here. Where is that pause button?

As some may or may not know, Ryan is a sensitive little soul. He definitely is the baby of our family. And as much as i try not to let him be spoiled the way all babies of the families are, we fall short from time to time (admitting the problem is a step to solving it right?). He is a mama's boy on top of that. Ethan and Sam didn't care where mom and dad where when it was time for nursery and school. They loved it and were excited to go. Ryan, on the other hand, has the equivalent of all three boys not wanting to be away from mom and dad. It has been a fight to get him to go to nursery/primary 80% of the time and even going to preschool at grandma's wasn't easy at first. I know it's only a matter of time for him to get adjusted, but it sure pulls at my heart stings to see him sad. Yesterday his first day, he only shed a few tears, as did I. Lucky for me someone had mentioned that they wore their sunglasses just so their kids wouldn't see them cry. He didn't see me cry. Blake did and he laughed at me. When we went into the school to make the changes the principle was the one that helped us. She walked down the hall with us and showed Ryan his new class room, and where his cubby would be' and where the drinking fountain is, and where a cute little window that is low enough for the kindergartners to see out. He sure liked Mrs. Holbrook. Later when i talked with the office to make sure i didn't need to fill out any other papers, Mrs. Holbrook with there. She said that when the kindergartners were taking a tour through the office Ryan waved to her and she waved back. She had told him that she would be riding the bus home with him that day to make sure all the kids knew the rules (since it's a bus of kindergartners). Ryan got off the bus with a big ol' smile on his face. Later when i was asking him what his favorite part was he said it was the bus. But he did say he liked kindergarten OK too. (Mrs Holbrook is the lady in the dress in the back ground by the bus).

Yesterday, since we were changing the boys to the early schedule, we took them into the school. So this morning was Ryan's first time riding the bus to school with Ethan and Sam. He was excited all morning, and didn't seem to be reluctant at all. I was feeling optimistic that making the change for the boys to all go on the early schedule, so they could go together, was the exact thing that would help Ryan. That was until he was about to set foot on that bus. He was running up to get on the bus behind Ethan and Sam, and then it hit him that i wasn't getting on the bus with him. He turned around and instantly started to cry. I went up to him and gave him a hug and said "you gotta get going, Ethan's going to sit by you on the bus, and then you're going to be with your class." And i tried to push him towards the bus. He wasn't too keen on that. Ethan realized that Ryan wasn't behind him, and came back out to help Ryan. I walked up the stairs with him, and then said good bye, gave him a kiss, and got off. As i came home i was praying that Ryan was OK and that he would settle in. I got a single ring from the school on my phone, but no one was there, about 5 minutes after i dropped the boys off at the stop. Ethan was trying to call me since Ryan cried to whole bus ride to the school telling the bus to turn around. Ethan was trying to be a good big brother. He went into the office and started to call me but the secretary said, no don't call you mom she will just worry, and she said she would help Ryan and he would be fine. They all walked to where the kindergartners were getting ready to go in. The secretary told Ethan he could go to his class. Ethan started to walk away reluctantly, and Ryan started to cry for Ethan. Ethan went running back, but the secretary told Ethan Ryan would be OK and that he needed to go to his class. I was worried when the secretary told me all of this, that Ethan would be pretty upset and worried about Ryan. I was glad that he was so concerned about Ryan (proud moment). When i picked Ethan up from the bus stop after school he told me all about the morning. I was able to tell him that Ryan did OK. He stopped crying, and did have a good day after that. Ryan will no doubt know how many people love him and care about him over time. I am just hoping that Monday will be a better day!